Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
some of my most favorite things (to be cont...)
1. the clicking noise my back wheel on my bike makes when i am walking with it
2. hot hot epsom salt tubs with candles when no one else is home and all i hear is the water sloshing
3. really crispy bacon
4. taking a nap in my sun warmed sheets
5. babies bums
6. fishing socks (you know, those really thick, long, warm socks)
7. fires in the fireplace
8. home made stove top popcorn with olive oil and nutritional yeast
9. crossfit workouts
10. men who are taller than me
11. steamed beets
12. dry sarcastic humor
13. poetry
14. playing hand drums
15. placentas
16. the human body (from an artistic/sensual perspective as well as anatomic/technical perspective)
17. lilacs
18. the fall in maine
19. blue whales
20. trail mix
21. the red rocks
2. hot hot epsom salt tubs with candles when no one else is home and all i hear is the water sloshing
3. really crispy bacon
4. taking a nap in my sun warmed sheets
5. babies bums
6. fishing socks (you know, those really thick, long, warm socks)
7. fires in the fireplace
8. home made stove top popcorn with olive oil and nutritional yeast
9. crossfit workouts
10. men who are taller than me
11. steamed beets
12. dry sarcastic humor
13. poetry
14. playing hand drums
15. placentas
16. the human body (from an artistic/sensual perspective as well as anatomic/technical perspective)
17. lilacs
18. the fall in maine
19. blue whales
20. trail mix
21. the red rocks
Sunday, February 15, 2009
growing into myself
it takes many scars and wounds
to be made beautiful and true
and its battle marks that feed confidence
to walk into a crowded room
so silent sneaking pity talk
has to take back seat
to fighting on and duking out
my inner voice that never sleeps
im not one for war or blood to spill
but there is a march inside my flesh
there are oceans to cross and land to claim
and I have no time to rest
tomorrows gain is won today
if I am ready to open my eyes
it’s the old and untrue binding self
that keeps me dying inside
I march on into my forest
Of dark and heavy trees
I look up for pockets of the sun
To shine in and rescue me
I make my camp, unpack my bags
And the storms hit blow by blow
the scars and wounds too many to count
but still I bunker down
I lean into the cleft of Christ
I anchor all my ropes
I promise to not move an inch
Until my time is up
I tie my boots and mend my shawl
I make fires to feed my soul
I learn to hear that ugly voice
And learn to wish her well
It’s a daunting war, a brutal fight
But these are wounds id never trade
A million men, even one true love
Could never take my ‘self’ away
to be made beautiful and true
and its battle marks that feed confidence
to walk into a crowded room
so silent sneaking pity talk
has to take back seat
to fighting on and duking out
my inner voice that never sleeps
im not one for war or blood to spill
but there is a march inside my flesh
there are oceans to cross and land to claim
and I have no time to rest
tomorrows gain is won today
if I am ready to open my eyes
it’s the old and untrue binding self
that keeps me dying inside
I march on into my forest
Of dark and heavy trees
I look up for pockets of the sun
To shine in and rescue me
I make my camp, unpack my bags
And the storms hit blow by blow
the scars and wounds too many to count
but still I bunker down
I lean into the cleft of Christ
I anchor all my ropes
I promise to not move an inch
Until my time is up
I tie my boots and mend my shawl
I make fires to feed my soul
I learn to hear that ugly voice
And learn to wish her well
It’s a daunting war, a brutal fight
But these are wounds id never trade
A million men, even one true love
Could never take my ‘self’ away
Saturday, February 14, 2009
adventures of the shrinking woman!
well, not EXACTLY, but kind of. Below is a pic of me practicing my form for one of the many olympic lifts. not the most flattering picture... but now you know what a 'dip/shrug' looks like...
as you all know in the last 5 years or so i have been on a long road towards discovering what it means to truly be healthy. it all started with the infamous dr. gregg fox! he opened my eyes to a world of wellness i never knew existed. since working for him i have been devouring books, lectures, personal experimentation, doctor's advice, the internet- you name it! it wasn't until the last 2 years that my dear friend tommy introduced me to crossfit and along with it, the paleo diet. These two things, along with yoga, moving to pdx and of course- the strength and power of christ in me- my life and body has been changing.
Since i have totally weaned all gluten and all gluten substitutes out of my diet, all sugar (except 80% or higher dark chocolate) and all dairy i feel like i have never felt before. it has always been a long long road of trying to reclaim my health and body over all these years. finally, i feel like i've made some progress! all the changed has been very subtle and slow - but so profound! i am not watching numbers on a scale or counting calories. what i am doing is eating as many veggies, meats, berries, nuts, good fats and fruit that i want (i also try to stay away from corn, beans/anything highly glycemic)- as well as moving my body everyday (bike commuting has helped a ton). i don't eat anything processed, that alone is a feat in today's society-- but thankfully- where i live in pdx, it is more a norm.
when i am not working i am either biking, cooking, shopping for food, reading birthing/anatomy books, at crossfit PORTLAND, or at yoga. okay, thats not ALL i do when i'm not working, but you get the idea. the majority of my life is about taking care of me and making good choices for my body. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. I read this verse not as some out-of-context-legalistic-twisted-way-to-get-my-butt-in-shape... but as a beautiful reminder of how god has breathed life into every cell of my being and with this body i am called to worship and honor him! this body is not my own, it belongs to the one who created it. in the gut of who i am, this truth brings me such joy and overflowing gratitude.
it has taken me many years to come to terms with this body (in more ways than one).... but as i journey through the inner workings of my soul and spirit i realized that it is all connected and jesus has made his mark on everything that is within me. it is freeing to be able to rejoice in how god fashioned me in my mothers womb, and how he has cared for me over these last 29 years of life. "for in him i live and move and have my being" Acts 17:28.
as you all know in the last 5 years or so i have been on a long road towards discovering what it means to truly be healthy. it all started with the infamous dr. gregg fox! he opened my eyes to a world of wellness i never knew existed. since working for him i have been devouring books, lectures, personal experimentation, doctor's advice, the internet- you name it! it wasn't until the last 2 years that my dear friend tommy introduced me to crossfit and along with it, the paleo diet. These two things, along with yoga, moving to pdx and of course- the strength and power of christ in me- my life and body has been changing.
Since i have totally weaned all gluten and all gluten substitutes out of my diet, all sugar (except 80% or higher dark chocolate) and all dairy i feel like i have never felt before. it has always been a long long road of trying to reclaim my health and body over all these years. finally, i feel like i've made some progress! all the changed has been very subtle and slow - but so profound! i am not watching numbers on a scale or counting calories. what i am doing is eating as many veggies, meats, berries, nuts, good fats and fruit that i want (i also try to stay away from corn, beans/anything highly glycemic)- as well as moving my body everyday (bike commuting has helped a ton). i don't eat anything processed, that alone is a feat in today's society-- but thankfully- where i live in pdx, it is more a norm.
when i am not working i am either biking, cooking, shopping for food, reading birthing/anatomy books, at crossfit PORTLAND, or at yoga. okay, thats not ALL i do when i'm not working, but you get the idea. the majority of my life is about taking care of me and making good choices for my body. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. I read this verse not as some out-of-context-legalistic-twisted-way-to-get-my-butt-in-shape... but as a beautiful reminder of how god has breathed life into every cell of my being and with this body i am called to worship and honor him! this body is not my own, it belongs to the one who created it. in the gut of who i am, this truth brings me such joy and overflowing gratitude.
it has taken me many years to come to terms with this body (in more ways than one).... but as i journey through the inner workings of my soul and spirit i realized that it is all connected and jesus has made his mark on everything that is within me. it is freeing to be able to rejoice in how god fashioned me in my mothers womb, and how he has cared for me over these last 29 years of life. "for in him i live and move and have my being" Acts 17:28.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
2 weeks without a car and loving every minute
i am an official bike commuter.
i was in a little fender bender a couple weeks ago and the long and short is that i no longer have a car. i had been pretty diligent to bike everywhere except for work (when that was 15 miles away), but always wondered in the back of my head, "what if i just didn't have a car? could i do it? man, that would be so great....' and now, here i am. and biking has changed everything for me. thankfully my new full time job is a mere 2.5 miles downhill and my other job(s) are a 20 min bus ride with a 1-3 mile bike ride. and, in general, pdx could not make biking/busing more easy or enjoyable. the city is so bike/commuter friendly.
the people at the grocery store don't get all pissy when you have to take time to pack your backpack a certain way.
there are actually places to lock your bike. everywhere. not just random stop sign posts and no parking signs. like, real bike racks.
there is a bike shop on ever corner, at least it seems. even bike co-ops!!
one must have a back and front LIGHT when riding a night, which i have and find very entertaining to see reflecting on the signs as i blink by.
the air is cold and crisp and makes me feel alive when i peddle through it.
the rain hasn't started, so i've been okay without fenders. i did have to use my snowboarding pants one morning cause it was pretty rainy. but the rain WILL come and i need to think about how to be ready for it-- at least at all the places i work i can keep my bike inside. this said, i have a biking wish list:
- gloves (right now i am using my snowboarding mittens)
- rain pants
- fender(s)
- back rack
- buckets or saddle bags
- clip in shoes and peddles
helmets give me horrible helmet hair. i already have thin straight baby fine hair-- it's hard enough to get some volume and style... forget when you combine it with sweat and helmets. commuting is not for the glamorous. and i am okay with that (most days).
at 7am i head out my door and meet up with the herds of other bikers out there on their way to work. its actually a really communal experience, except when i get passed by those tall thin spandex wearing serious types who have neon vests and 4 rear blinkers going at once! seriously?
riding a bike in pdx is all about making a statement. my statement? functionality. other statements? well, lets just say.... it's not about spinning rims, pin striping and tinted windows like you see in some cities with their pimped out cars. here its about weather you have a single speed or a fix gear. it is about less is more. whatever.
we are still trying to figure out how/where to keep all our bikes inside (for weather and connivence sake). 3 of us ride, one buses and there is one car (that belongs to meghan who mostly rides/busses).
my mom is coming to town in march (as i already mentioned) and i am hoping to rent her a bike and see if she would be into it! warning to all of you planning to visit... you must be willing to bike ;-) it is the only way to live!!!
get on your bike. it will change the way you see and interact with the world!
i was in a little fender bender a couple weeks ago and the long and short is that i no longer have a car. i had been pretty diligent to bike everywhere except for work (when that was 15 miles away), but always wondered in the back of my head, "what if i just didn't have a car? could i do it? man, that would be so great....' and now, here i am. and biking has changed everything for me. thankfully my new full time job is a mere 2.5 miles downhill and my other job(s) are a 20 min bus ride with a 1-3 mile bike ride. and, in general, pdx could not make biking/busing more easy or enjoyable. the city is so bike/commuter friendly.
the people at the grocery store don't get all pissy when you have to take time to pack your backpack a certain way.
there are actually places to lock your bike. everywhere. not just random stop sign posts and no parking signs. like, real bike racks.
there is a bike shop on ever corner, at least it seems. even bike co-ops!!
one must have a back and front LIGHT when riding a night, which i have and find very entertaining to see reflecting on the signs as i blink by.
the air is cold and crisp and makes me feel alive when i peddle through it.
the rain hasn't started, so i've been okay without fenders. i did have to use my snowboarding pants one morning cause it was pretty rainy. but the rain WILL come and i need to think about how to be ready for it-- at least at all the places i work i can keep my bike inside. this said, i have a biking wish list:
- gloves (right now i am using my snowboarding mittens)
- rain pants
- fender(s)
- back rack
- buckets or saddle bags
- clip in shoes and peddles
helmets give me horrible helmet hair. i already have thin straight baby fine hair-- it's hard enough to get some volume and style... forget when you combine it with sweat and helmets. commuting is not for the glamorous. and i am okay with that (most days).
at 7am i head out my door and meet up with the herds of other bikers out there on their way to work. its actually a really communal experience, except when i get passed by those tall thin spandex wearing serious types who have neon vests and 4 rear blinkers going at once! seriously?
riding a bike in pdx is all about making a statement. my statement? functionality. other statements? well, lets just say.... it's not about spinning rims, pin striping and tinted windows like you see in some cities with their pimped out cars. here its about weather you have a single speed or a fix gear. it is about less is more. whatever.
we are still trying to figure out how/where to keep all our bikes inside (for weather and connivence sake). 3 of us ride, one buses and there is one car (that belongs to meghan who mostly rides/busses).
my mom is coming to town in march (as i already mentioned) and i am hoping to rent her a bike and see if she would be into it! warning to all of you planning to visit... you must be willing to bike ;-) it is the only way to live!!!
get on your bike. it will change the way you see and interact with the world!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
a warm fire on a windy night and many thoughts...
the wind is strong and cold outside. the skies have been clear for days and it feels like my favorite time of year back home: fall. tonight i made a fire in the fire place and lit my peppermint/eucalyptus candles. i am sitting in our 'new' rocking chair my roommate and i scored of the side of the road today on the way home from yoga. i am listening to some of my favorite music: damien rice, brandi carlile, ray lamontange, nickel creek, jon foreman, over the rhine, hem and natalie merchant- it doesn't get much better that this evening.
the house is slowly transforming into a place i can call more and more 'my home'. we have started an art space in the basement and the backyard garden/ fire pit is going to be lovely this summer. we are going to start building our chicken coop soon in anticipation for chickens this spring. my roommate is going to teach me how to can jam, pickles and other various things.
i am faithfully and joyfully hitting the yoga studio three times a week, the same for crossfit. my body is becoming more and more my own. a true temple of health and wholeness.
i had a wonderful birth in VA with my girlfriend, megan. she had a baby girl on christmas day. it was transformative and truly life giving. again, a confirmation to my inner parts that i am supposed to be in the birth world.
my mom is coming to visit the end of march! i could not be more thrilled about her coming to see a slice of my life. it is also incredible how the distance between us over all these months have made my heart ache and long for her company and love her more than ever before. i adore my mother and father.
i've started a introductory class once a week for the next 10-12 weeks. it is a class/practice in 'non violent communication'. we have only met once, but in that one meeting--- much was laid on my heart and much was revealed to me. god continues to reach into the dark cavernous expanse of all that is dark and hurting within me and pull it out into the light. i am grateful for the space and resources i have been given... and for the gentle nudge and wisdom of the holy spirit that leads me.
my job in the chiropractic world continues to be a never ending open door into the land of anatomy and understanding the body. it is such a privilege to be working with this doctor and constantly learning from him. i still have my eyes set on massage school at some point. but where i am now in the chiro/birth world is suiting me just fine. just fine.
i have so many reasons to wake up in the morning. i am surrounded by and being fed the very things that make me tic and bring me joy. in a couple months i will be celebrating 1 year in pdx. it is so hard to believe that i thought i'd just visit here for 6 months or so. moving was so empowering and it actually makes me want to move again. owning near to nothing and knowing who i am is the most liberating feeling. while the runner's high has worn off... and life in pdx has already shown me many ups and downs.... i welcome the twists and turns of life with a confidence and humility i never had before.
i'm not sure anyone really reads these blogs, but if you do- thanks for taking the time to... and for all of those who have kept in touch and sewed into my life mighty love and support, even miles apart, i thank you.
the house is slowly transforming into a place i can call more and more 'my home'. we have started an art space in the basement and the backyard garden/ fire pit is going to be lovely this summer. we are going to start building our chicken coop soon in anticipation for chickens this spring. my roommate is going to teach me how to can jam, pickles and other various things.
i am faithfully and joyfully hitting the yoga studio three times a week, the same for crossfit. my body is becoming more and more my own. a true temple of health and wholeness.
i had a wonderful birth in VA with my girlfriend, megan. she had a baby girl on christmas day. it was transformative and truly life giving. again, a confirmation to my inner parts that i am supposed to be in the birth world.
my mom is coming to visit the end of march! i could not be more thrilled about her coming to see a slice of my life. it is also incredible how the distance between us over all these months have made my heart ache and long for her company and love her more than ever before. i adore my mother and father.
i've started a introductory class once a week for the next 10-12 weeks. it is a class/practice in 'non violent communication'. we have only met once, but in that one meeting--- much was laid on my heart and much was revealed to me. god continues to reach into the dark cavernous expanse of all that is dark and hurting within me and pull it out into the light. i am grateful for the space and resources i have been given... and for the gentle nudge and wisdom of the holy spirit that leads me.
my job in the chiropractic world continues to be a never ending open door into the land of anatomy and understanding the body. it is such a privilege to be working with this doctor and constantly learning from him. i still have my eyes set on massage school at some point. but where i am now in the chiro/birth world is suiting me just fine. just fine.
i have so many reasons to wake up in the morning. i am surrounded by and being fed the very things that make me tic and bring me joy. in a couple months i will be celebrating 1 year in pdx. it is so hard to believe that i thought i'd just visit here for 6 months or so. moving was so empowering and it actually makes me want to move again. owning near to nothing and knowing who i am is the most liberating feeling. while the runner's high has worn off... and life in pdx has already shown me many ups and downs.... i welcome the twists and turns of life with a confidence and humility i never had before.
i'm not sure anyone really reads these blogs, but if you do- thanks for taking the time to... and for all of those who have kept in touch and sewed into my life mighty love and support, even miles apart, i thank you.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
a christmas baby...
and her name is teyah? well, i am in virginia waiting for baby teyah to be born. mamma and i have been enjoying ourselves very much. preparing the home birth room with candles, alter and tacking all the handmade baby blankets she has received as gifts on the wall. we are taking long walks, singing, laughing, massaging and eating very yummy home cooked meals. we are very ready to meet baby girl. the snow storm seemed to have work out in our favor since my flight was canceled- otherwise i'd be back in pdx by now. the blizzard gave me 5 extra days to love on mamma (and my best girlfriend) and hopefully be HERE for the labor/delivery! 
in addition to my doula journey i have a new full time job as a chiropractic assistant! i am very excited, as i am working HANDS ON with patients doing ultra sounds and other therapies, vitals, etc. i am finally back into the holistic medicine world, but this time i don't have to deal with insurance companies and scheduling and all those admin responsibilities... i get to work WITH the patients (and am officially certified as a CA: chiro assistant). the doc i work with, dr. simon agger, is wonderful! he is very similar in his chiropractic approach, to dr. greg fox (as many of you know, i love and have learned so much from!) dr agger's nutritional approach and emphasis is very much in line with my beliefs and it is such a relief and joy to be working for a doctor who shares in my passions!
life in pdx is proving to be full of healing and rest. i am continually grateful for this season in my life. in 4 months it will be a year! and to think, i said i'd probably be back in 6 months. it is not looking that way right now, unless i find my husband and he wants to raise a family in maine.... i will be in pdx for awhile. we have a whole new slew of roommates in the house (except for my lovely friend margo who's been there longer than me). we have now welcomed cass and meghan, both very lovely ladies. meghan and i have become instantly good friends and it's so nice to keep her company.
it's time to go check on mamma. more updates to come, and again, feel free to check out my flickr for an image update to what i've been doing. i'm better at taking photos than i am at writing these days. be well and merry christmas. may the light and love of jesus christ penetrate your core as your rejoice in his birth this day!
in addition to my doula journey i have a new full time job as a chiropractic assistant! i am very excited, as i am working HANDS ON with patients doing ultra sounds and other therapies, vitals, etc. i am finally back into the holistic medicine world, but this time i don't have to deal with insurance companies and scheduling and all those admin responsibilities... i get to work WITH the patients (and am officially certified as a CA: chiro assistant). the doc i work with, dr. simon agger, is wonderful! he is very similar in his chiropractic approach, to dr. greg fox (as many of you know, i love and have learned so much from!) dr agger's nutritional approach and emphasis is very much in line with my beliefs and it is such a relief and joy to be working for a doctor who shares in my passions!
life in pdx is proving to be full of healing and rest. i am continually grateful for this season in my life. in 4 months it will be a year! and to think, i said i'd probably be back in 6 months. it is not looking that way right now, unless i find my husband and he wants to raise a family in maine.... i will be in pdx for awhile. we have a whole new slew of roommates in the house (except for my lovely friend margo who's been there longer than me). we have now welcomed cass and meghan, both very lovely ladies. meghan and i have become instantly good friends and it's so nice to keep her company.
it's time to go check on mamma. more updates to come, and again, feel free to check out my flickr for an image update to what i've been doing. i'm better at taking photos than i am at writing these days. be well and merry christmas. may the light and love of jesus christ penetrate your core as your rejoice in his birth this day!
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